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[07 Mar 2007|09:28am] |
When I was One-and-Twenty by A.E. Housman is a short poem that focuses on the pain of young love and the wisdom that comes through experience and age. In this poem Housman is adviced to guard his heart and be hesitant to give it away to anyone. Instead of heading this warning of wisdom, Housman says, "But I was one-and-twenty, No use to talk to me." By the end of the poem Housman has learned his leason and recognizes the wisdom of guarding his heart and absorbing the advise of the wise.
Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else guard your heart for it is the well-spring of life." This idea is firmly portrayed throughout Housman's poem. In life a person only has one heart to give and protect. This simple fact forces all people to embrace the idea of protecting their heart. Throughout the Bible the idea of guarding one's heart and submitting it the Lord and things of substence is an ideal encouraged over and over again. Ignoring wisdom and freely giving one's heart away is a dangerous way to live. This poem shows Housman's experience in learning to understand these truths.
When
Throughout a person's life wisdom and advice flow through many conversations. One must be willing to hear and apply the wisdom they are given. Proverbs 27:12 says, "The prudent see danger and take reuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it." Housman's poem reflects this verse's advice in showing that he was foolish to ignore the wise man's advice and give his heart away. In one's time of youthfulness it can be hard to acknowledge what is dangerous for one's heart so a person must be willing to accept the words of wisdom coming from knowing sources.
The unforturnate lesson Housman reflects in this poem is that, sometimes one must endure the suffering to embrace the knowledge. This is displayed all throughout the Bible. For example, in the book of Genesis, the Lord commands Adam and Eve to never take fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When Adam and Eve disobey the Lord they see the that thier lack of wisdom cost them everything.
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[19 Jan 2007|08:34am] |
this is an honest lie.
i woke up this morning 30 years beaten down with the carcass of my pride and self-respect cuddling my form.
i woke up this morning empty and void of the treasure i put myself through hell to find.
i woke up this morning with all the answers on the tip of my tongue, but your taste quieted the logic.
i woke up this morning with no comfort, or warmth, or understanding.
i woke up this morning longing for more than my conscience would have ever allowed me to want.
i woke up this morning burning with passion unseen and love untasted.
i woke up this morning with wrinkles and cold shoulders.
i woke up this morning next to you & i knew this is not what i wanted.
i woke up this morning thanking God i didnt do what they all assume i did.
i woke up this morning wishing i didnt have to wake up & see your face distant from my own.
i woke up this morning knowing i need more distance from you than i thought.
i woke up this morning hating you & hating myself for acknowledging your existence.
i woke up this morning proud im strong enough to walk away.
i woke up this morning ashamed i let you get the best of me.
i woke up this morning unchanged, and for that i feel foul.
i woke up this morning seeing with clear blue eyes and clouded judgement.
i woke up this morning hopeful for what i have not yet attained & angry for the road block self-inflicted.
i woke up realizing there is not a prize to be won, but a being ready for vindication.
i woke up this morning ready to jump, love, hate, scream, cry, kiss, run, punch, yell, embrace, quit, & sadly enough REMAIN THE SAME.
i woke up this morning accepting the fact ive become a silhouette of who i was.
this is false.
this is true.
this is nothing.
dont assume anything. most of this doesnt even apply to you.
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[19 Jan 2007|08:34am] |
you have my attention.
His plans are amazingly magnificent. i run so hard in my own direction & He gently (((& sometimes not so gently))) brings me back to His path, when im ready to open up to His loving whispers.
my heart is so guarded in His hands & it makes me feel...at home? (((for those of you who know me, you know, i never feel 'at home'))). He tends to my heart & my fears, which multiply with every new connection i make.
there are so many beautiful instances He has led me kicking & screaming into a beautiful field of opportunities & lessons.
i thought i wanted this, & i just knew i wanted that, but He knew what i needed was never you or him. He knew i needed Him & time. & He gave me time in such a unique & beautiful way(((& maybe even the one i least expected))). His plans unravel so uniquely under the downpour of my failed attempts.
"you have my attention, like you've had all the while, since that first day when you made my heart smile, with loving eyes & tired sighs of hope. you have my attention." this isnt just a love song, this is a love song to Him and maybe him, but my heart is at peace where it rests & it recognizes patience & falling in love with His unknown plans.
He is my desire & you are my dream, but even if that dream changes i know our desire will stay the same & for that i am grateful.
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[19 Jan 2007|08:33am] |
more than enough.
THEN"she said, i dont know if ive ever been good enough, im a little bit rusty and i think my head is caving in.& i dont know if ive ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me, & i feel like somethings gonna give."
for years i have felt i deserve as much as what i have. for years i have eaten what i have been given and told myself i was satisfied. for years i have allowed myself to acknowledge common courtesies as grand acts of kindness. for years i have allowed myself to be taken for granted. for years i have given more than the means justified & never asked for anything in return. for years i have been walked on. & for years i have been silent.
& for the first time in years im setting standards. i deserve something beautiful. i deserve honesty. i deserve respect. i deserve 'please' & even sometimes 'thank you.' i deserve kindness.
i want to give as much as i recieve(if not more). i long to give all i have to anyone who needs it. i want to provide for others as i would wish someone would do for me one day. i desire to pour every ounce of energy i have into something that would help someone.
the Lord is teaching me to be vulnerable. He is teaching me it is ok to be close to others, it is ok to get close, it is ok to let them help you. im learning its ok for me to be the one saying 'thank you' & its even ok for me to be the one asking 'please.'
even though learning to get close to people has proven to be a painful lesson, i know that this too shall pass. as attachments fade & strength grows, i know the Lord will reveal to me so much. im trying to be silent and patient so i can be sure i dont miss what He is whispering to my heart. i dont know or understand his plans, but im eager to grow in Him & in time see his beautiful plans unfold. i know He will show me where i should be. & im grateful that he will be patient with me as i stumble to get there.
NOW"Sometimes I play the fool but still your love is all around, sprouting from the ground here and there and everywhere especially on this floor that I now stand. And how amazingly awesome is your plan that cannot be thwarted by any man no matter how big or strong or ugly or evil he be, because through you is victory. And it's victory that I now speak of and have to let out of my skin because for too long it's been contained therein."
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[19 Jan 2007|08:32am] |
NAPTOWN
so, i came home to indiana for a week before i go to college. im in shock, in the last 24 hours of me being here 9 people have been shot, not even 15 miles from where i used to live. brownsburg(my home town) still feels like home, things look the same; dingy and 'small town' charming, & i love it. i remember everyroad and every tree & i love seeing everything again, but the city has changed. its hard to come home and find that the places you used to go, arent safe to go to by yourself anymore.
im more in love with this place than ever before. it is so strange the more i look around the more i remember what it feels like to feel 'at home.' ive only felt that once since i moved, and it wasnt even at my house, it was with someone. being here makes me feel so alive. this is where im from. this is what made me, me. im not sure any of you will understand what this feels like, but ill put it out there anyway.
im done being sappy & corney now.
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[19 Jan 2007|08:32am] |
i work & smile more than anything else.
& summer nights are leaving me soaked in sweet sweat with the smell of the lake on my skin.
& the sounds of hip-hop (real true hip-hop, not the beats i so often settle for) are what makes my heart keep its tempo.
& my fingers are getting use to the fluid movements of the
present.
& ive tried to finish this one piece for weeks but im at a standstill.
& the tan lines running in all directions across my skin make me giggle before i step in the shower.
& driving barefoot with one foot tucked under my leg reminds me how young and alive i am.
& sunday mornings are what makes my week feel complete.
& i probably pick up the phone 397 times a day with you on the tip of my tongue.
& i quickly remember i have nothing to say.
& i let the countdown of weeks until freedom flow from a pen onto a rejected canvas.
& im finally comfortable in my own skin.
& i can feel their absence already eating away a piece of my security.
& my desire to nurture and care for others is increasing by the moment.
& i am still at a loss for words.
& i recognize the last month and the next month represent the beginning and the end of a new life.
& i cant help but be in love with everything i see.
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[19 Jan 2007|08:30am] |
ive decided on a direction for my life.
next semester i will be going to USC Upstate(spartanburg).
ive decided to double major in nursing and non-profit organizations. the year i graduate i would like to become involved in a traveling hospital and go to Darfur in Sudan; traveling from refugee camp to refugee camp taking care of people. when i come home to the states, i want to join a foundation to take care of people with AIDS or possibly a foundation that helps with teen pregnancies.
maybe all of the specifics of my goals wont stay the same, i just know i want to take care of people. i want to show people love and sincerity. i know how idealistic i sound, but im ok with that. the desire of my heart is just to give all i have to show others love.
what do you want to do in life?
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| ROUGHDRAAAAFT. I NEED A PLACE TO SAVE THIIIIIIIIIIIS.alksdjfal;dfjblaaaaaaah |
[20 Sep 2006|04:58pm] |
Jessica Lovins
Zurenda
English 101
September 20, 2006
Modern Day Genocide
During my senior year in high school I took a class called Model UN. This class was an extensive study of foreign policy and world politics. This class broke me out of the habit of only knowing as much about the world as CNN tells me. Through this class I was introduced to the crises around the world that the U.S. allowed itself to pay very little mind to. One of the world emergencies that struck me the deepest was the genocide taking place in Sudan. Due to the information gathered in this class I was inspired to become a nurse and after graduation move to Darfur to care for refugees.
Since 2003 the genocide taking place in Darfur has claimed the lives of 400,000 people and left 2.5 million without a home. The war between government and state began in 2003 when the Darfurian rebel groups organized a revolt against the government due to poverty and neglect from the government. Soon to follow was a quick response from the government, which has helped push the snowball of what now is an intense civil war. The government of Sudan has enlisted the help of a militia known as the Janjaweed. This group travels their enemy’s homeland pillaging villages, raping woman, murdering the men, orphaning children, taking part in slave trades and leaving thousands trembling in terror.
Peace talks are common and commonly unproductive in Sudan when dealing with Darfur. In recent months the United Nations has been pushing Sudan to admit peacekeepers into their country, but to no avail. The leaders of Sudan are simply not open to opening their eyes and ears to the ways of peace. Although, it is hard to find a middle ground between the four or more rebel groups that terrorize their own country. Responsibility for providing security in this country has been given to the African Union Peacekeeping Mission in Darfur. While their assistance cannot be lost it simply just isn’t enough. The victims in Darfur and the world must try and wait for the United Nations to force peacekeepers into Sudan while still avoiding the threat of more terror raining down on the people at the hand of their government.
I know that a single person cannot change the whole world, but all I know is that I want to pour my time and effort into giving the people of Darfur everything I have. Learning about what is really going on has changed my entire life. Because of the information gatherered in Model UN I have decided my major, chosen a career path, and found a new direction for my life. My greatest goal is to be in Darfur within 5 years; I want to start almost immediately after college. In my eyes I cannot justify simply watching this kind of thing take place; I want to be a part of the end of this.
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| oneatatime |
[07 Jun 2006|06:47am] |
"the miracle is the shortest time"
you know it was very good
it was better than anything
it was like something
we could pick up
hold look at
and then laugh about.
we were on the moon
we were in the
god damned moon,
we had it
we were in the garden
we were in the endless pit
never such a place as that
it was deep and
it was light and
it was high
it got so near to insanity
we laughed so hard
your laughter and mine
I remember when your eyes
said love loudly
now as these walls
so quietly shift.
-charles bukowski
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| frankenstein. |
[29 Apr 2006|08:11am] |
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"If our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might be nearly free; but now we are moved by every wind that blows, and a chance or scene that that word may convey to us."
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| i forget the name of this play. |
[09 Jan 2006|01:12am] |
EMILY:
Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?--every, every minute?
STAGE MANAGER:
No. The saints and poets, maybe--they do some.
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